Just wanted to share a few thoughts that are filling my head this evening.
As I ran through the nightly routine (Daddy is working tonight) with Jude and Annabelle I reflected on just where I was the night of December 5, 2011.
Our parents arrived in Charleston and wanted to take Brian and I out to dinner before the big day. I was craving hush puppies (and was as big as a house) so my father-in-law was determined to find some for me. We ended up at a a seafood restaurant on Shem Creek and tried our hardest to keep our heads up knowing what the next day may look like.
Looking back it was such a frightening time for Brian and I. I am quite confident that we did a TON of research about CDH but I now know that we couldn't even imagine the beast of a fight that our sweet boy (and our family) would face. I remember bringing my fork to my mouth that night but I think my head was blank. I just couldn't think. I did not want to face it. I wanted Jude to stay in my tummy forever. Safe.
I don't remember sleeping that night either. I know I did. I think the good Lord just carried Brian and I through that night.
Tomorrow is such a big day that I don't have adequate words to express the many thoughts and feelings that I have about Jude's 1st birthday. I am thankful and overwhelmed by the grace and love that the Lord has shown us over this last year. But my heart also weeps for the families who journeyed this CDH battle with us and held their sweet babies as they went to Jesus. It is so hard for me to grasp the Lord's plans for each little person that he brings into this world.
What a gift to share this last year with Jude.
One little known fact (and fun aspect) about our journey with Jude in the NICU and MUSC is that we would get cupcakes each time that Jude had a good day....a victory! (Of course in those days I was pumping breast milk like crazy and burning some MAJOR calories!) So, tomorrow we are planning to enjoy a few cupcakes to celebrate Jude's first year! I'm hoping that Jude will enjoy a little bit of the icing or at least play with the cupcake a little!
Will you celebrate with us? Cupcakes all around!