Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Discouraging News -- Please Pray


This post will be brief, but after you read it, if you are able, please pray for Jude, as his situation has taken a turn for the worse.

I was alone when I walked into the NICU this morning, and it's the Lord's mercy that Rose wasn't with me because Jude didn't look good. He was very pale and just appeared to be ailing, which was a sharp contrast to his appearance over the last few days in which we had looked forward to him coming off ECMO. Cardiology was just finishing an echocardiogram that never really got started in the way that it had originally been planned, because the staff discovered that Jude has bilateral pleural effusion, or fluid on both of his lungs. This fluid is exerting pressure on his heart, and, in light of this discovery, the staff stopped short of clamping Jude off from the machine for the duration of the echo as they had originally planned.

After talking to Jude's doctors and nurse, I learned that they are sufficiently concerned about his fluid on his lungs that they are now asking our pediatric surgeon if he would be willing to put in a chest tube to directly remove the fluid. This is a much more invasive approach than the staff have wanted to risk before, particularly in light of the fact that he's on a blood thinner, but apparently they think that its potential benefits now outweigh its risks.

Also, much to my disappointment, we learned this morning that Jude's ECMO circuit has enough clotting in the tubes and in the oxygenator that the staff now think it is best to change out the circuit entirely. When Rose and I have asked about changing out the circuit before and the circumstances in which that is done, we were told that it was generally avoided at all costs, as it can be something of a shock to the patient and carries risks and potential consequences (just as every measure seemingly does). After being under the impression that Jude's ECMO circuit was generally clear of clotting (notwithstanding some small signs that clots were beginning to form), learning this morning that the circuit will now probably be changed out completely was very hard to hear.

I have to be honest: Hearing all of this news and seeing Jude look so pitiful was devastating. Every part of me wanted to scoop up my child and embrace him, even though I knew that won't change anything. I had to leave; I had to get out of the NICU. Rose and I just feel wrung out, and although we hope and pray that Jude's journey will continue such that we're in this for the long haul, the weight of it is grinding us down. We need God's mercy, and we pray for his mercy for Jude in particular, that He would foster healing in his little body.

Even as we're struggling with this emotional roller coaster, we still know that Lord is compassionate and that he has been, is, and will be merciful beyond our deserving. And we know He is with us. Please join us not only in crying out to Him for His mercy and healing for Jude, but please join us in praising Him and giving thanks, because He is good. He's more powerful and more loving than any of us can fathom, and ultimately only He can heal Jude and afford the rest of us the peace that surpasses all understanding in the midst of such trials.

I'll update you all as we learn more throughout the day. Thank you for your love and your prayers.


And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
(Matthew 28:20)


  1. My prayers and praises to a God who is "good all the time" and faithful in every way. Thank you for encouraging me this morning through your trust. Keep clinging to His Hand. He will never leave you or forsake you...He promises that and it is IMPOSSIBLE for God to lie.

  2. Continuing to pray for Jude and you and Rose.

  3. Continuing our prayers without ceasing for all of you.

  4. So sorry to read this news. Please stay optimistic and shower Jude with your love. Continued prayers are coming your way!!

  5. Oh, how my heart breaks for you as you are watching your son struggle. It brings me back to our time in the NICU and I join you in prayer that our God will heal Jude. Nothing is impossible for him and we know that he can do this.

    Lord, you have said that "You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.: in John 14:14 - so today we ask in Jesus's name that you would heal Jude. Please restore his strength - may the procedures to change the ECMO circuits and remove the fluid from him heart/lungs be successful and restorative. May you, the great Physician do all that needs to be done today to help Jude turn the corner back to healing and one day coming home. May he get stronger each moment and be able to come off ECMO and be able to have his surgery.
    We also call upon the promises of Isaiah 40:31 "but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" that you would renew Brian and Rose today and give them the strength and hope that they need for this journey. Surround them with your love for you are Emanuel - God with us.


    Love and Prayers from Oregon
    The Dooley Family

  6. Rose and Brian I have been praying and thinking of yall constantly. Love you!

  7. Thinking of you all, and praying big. I remember feeling the way you do today. It's awful. It's a heavy load. But... you can manage this. If you need a break from the NICU to regain strength, that's okay. The breaks are what fuel you to be healthy and available to your little warrior. Take the time to be overwhelmed, and then when you're ready again, be there for your boy. Hoping and praying everything goes well for Jude tonight.

    The Talbot Family (RCDH survivor Quinn cheers, "You can do it, Jude!")

  8. Praying for you all and Jude continuously!

  9. Praying for you all and sending much love your way.

  10. Praying for Baby Jude as well as your family. I pray he continues to heal and get better so that you can see his beautiful smile and hear that amazing cry. Ive been where your at. Keeping you in my prayers

  11. Praying for you. So hard. May He lift you and comfort you.